Nothing on this planet elicits simultaneous feelings of detestation, disgust and hostility like cockroaches. I have no explanation for this but the moment I see a cockroach, my fight, flight and shriek response is instantly set into overdrive.

Compound this with the inconvenient fact that roaches in Japan are bigger, badder and have somehow achieved flight and now, we’ve got ourselves a potential Star Ship Troopers alien invasion.

 

This is our how to guide on maintaining a roach free living space.

Clean living space:

Roaches gotta eat too. A clean living space to us is a barren, nutrient void wasteland to a roach. A clean house can trigger any potential cockroach cohabitants to immigrate to more fruitful lands. Take out your trash, stay on top of your kitchen and don’t just tidy up, actually wipe down the counters and vacuum. Treat this as a medieval siege, starve out the enemy and reclaim your castle.

Poison:

It turns out that the Japanese share our distain for cockroaches and have developed a large arsenal of poisons designed to combat our roachy guests.

Insecticides are available for those looking to instantly terminate without having to get their hands dirty. My brand of choice is “Goki” (short for gokiburi or cockroach in Japanese). One blast immediately terminates the roaches. That being said, this stuff can’t be good for humans as cockroaches are famously durable and this stuff shrivels them… keep your distance and don’t breathe it in.

For those who don’t lust for cockroach blood but still don’t want the cockroaches alive in their living space, poison bait is another option. Like a magic spell protecting Hogwarts, these poison capsules ward off any potential freeloading roaches.

The old fashion way

Blunt objects, cups and vacuums can all be used in a pinch. As for myself, (lacking the courage to smash a roach) I personally prefer to capture the cockroaches in a cup and release them outside, but to each their own.

For those evil geniuses who have had success with other methods, please share in the comments!

 

 

-Vanquishing evil, one roach at a time